Even though the only people who read this blog are my father in law and ... well, thats it (hi dad!)...I need to proclaim something loud and clear over the internet (but not Facebook, because I'm too ashamed to tell all 800+ of my "friends" that i harbor this secret passion):
I secretly love Olive Garden and have been craving it for years. I haven't had any since December 2006 in Dallas, Tx, and haven't been able to return because everyone I associate with thinks its a disgusting trans-fat middle-class American paradise. And I'm not going there by myself - I'm not a traveling businessman on an over-valued per-diem trying to save some money.
This perception, while true, ignores all of the amazing merits of Olive Garden. Olive Garden is delicious. The [FREE] bread and salad are so good!! They are so liberal with the pepperoncinis in the salad, and the olives! and the standard iceberg and romaine lettuces covered with dripping salad dressing!! The pastas are so buttery and filled with suspicious gloriousness!! The soda beverages are all sparkly in their plastic (? plastic? cheap glass? i can't even remember!) glasses!
Olive Garden doesn't give a crap about your arteries, or America's expanding waistline, or the amount of grass that your cow eats or chicken sees (this part does prick my conscience a bit). They just want your taste buds to be happy and the pleasure centers in your brain to activate. and they're so successful at it!
No fancy schmancy truffle based titles, just google-translated Italian titles for spaghetti and alfredo deliciousness, mixed in with the names of somewhat well-known Italian cities, thanks to movies like, "Under the Tuscan Sun," and "My House in Umbria." Easy to read, easy to order, easy to become addicted and rant about it five years after withdrawal sets in.
i'm so hungry right now. There is some part of me that loves the same things that middle-class America loves (could this be because...gasp...I grew up in a solidly middle class American family? sometimes I resent my higher education viewpoints. Hmm. or maybe its just because middle-class Americans eat really tasty food. After all, we do find them appealing because evolutionarily our bodies are programmed to think fatty foods are delicious -- we're just not good at resisting temptation, thats all), even though I know they should be beneath me at some level.
other items I love: Olive Garden, Snickers Bars, frozen pizzas and bagel bites, Nesquick, Gushers, frappucinos, McDonalds cheeseburgers (THERE I ADMITTED IT), those giant bloomin onions from the fair, and chicken wings. and tacos and enchiladas. I. love. tacos. and. enchiladas. Particularly cheese enchiladas. i could eat chips and salsa every day for the rest of my life. I also love Korean food.
i must be a product of my environment.
